another hint
20050910
Dear, another one. This dream actually indicate the event before those dreams i have been repeatedly having. It gives a rather clear picture. It happened in hongkong along with one of my friends in hongkong and maydeline. (dun worry mayde, we didn't die yet) It was pretty real because I really see a more modern world with higher technologies of which some of them I couldn't even understand them now. This clearly indicates that it is the future.
So that night we were walking along the victoria bay(I suppose so, because as i have already mentioned, the world has evolved, the bay has become yet smaller, but it still gives the same atmosphere nonetheless) and there are more people on the streets. Then suddenly, a lot of people gasped and pointed at the sky. When i turned my head and look, there suddenly (seriously out of the blue...sky) emerged a very huge planet, around 3-4 times the moon's sky? Everybody thought it was some magic moment of the yet to know universe, so they were just so stunned and dumbstruck. Until this planet is totally emerged as a full planet, so bright, but our sky was still as dark. But this planet continued to burnt and ultimatly burn to a big fire bal like the sun. It was going to explode. Then everybody realise it is the time to run. But i was thinking, if such a great force is going to explode, what is the for of running? everybody would definitely be GONE. As in destroyed. THer would be no use of running. YOu would just be fooling yourself. So we paused to see what happens next. The planet became brighter and brighter it almost brought our nightsky back to the day. But it was just a moment, and the planet disppeared with a deafening sound that almost couldn't be heard, you could only feel the vibrations. Everybody screamed, and we ran. Then when i took a peek as we ran, I saw the sky back to normal. (With this new technology that videos of advertisements are actaully projected to the sky.) The disturbing part was, every body went back to the normal after a short moment, as if this has been happening all the time and would continue to worsen.
jazzy juby 4:06:00 下午
grrr..
20050909
Stupid idiotic "upstairs" is having a renovation. But I am seriously glad that it's not olevels now. I have got no other choices(except for going out to study, which I am desperately tempted to.....you have got to understand I can't really focus outside home....) but to stuck my ears with headphones and listening to BBC classicals. Recently they happen to have various prom performances and it's really funny when you listen to them. You know they have these little breaks between each movement right? Guess what would you hear during those little breaks? Immediate coughs!!! gosh.. so comical, sometimes it appears to me that theses coughs are just so damn fake. hahahaa.. they all sound immediately after the breaks! You mean they actually hold their coughs for such a long period of time and "release" them exactly during the break? you mean you can do that????? oh dear.
Anyway, I poster a snail mail to my primary school tutor who is actaully an English. Well, i think i don't even remember how she look like. But I guess she would be glad that i will be going to wales.
"will there be angels whispering to me 'goodnight'?"
jazzy juby 2:04:00 下午
i am mean
20050906
THis is bad.
Every chat with my mother recently hasn't end cheerfully. I know I am asking to much of her. But seriously, she is really not encouraging at all. I wouldn't mind if she discourage me with hard cold facts, I mean, today, i am no longer only an innocent child. I have to face the terrible truths, which I believe I am well aware of. Well, she just like to give denials, telling you this is not possible, that is not possible, she is just expecting too low from me. I mean, I think I am practical enough! But if I expect so low of myself, then how on earth would I be able to reach marvelous results? Hey! Aim high, reach high! I used not to believe that but results proved me wrong! THe fact is if you never aim there, you wouldn't even reach your normal or your supposed result.
So, forget this man. I am going to encourage myself. Regardless of what she says. I know I am getting real mean. But to prove her wrong, I have to show her cold hard facts. That I am going to show her what I am really capable of. Not that I am as able as those like well, that harvard senior kind, well, or just as smart as the sy people. I just wanna show her i am able to do those beyond what she thinks. Hell, I am really frustrated. NEver mind, i believe in myself.
For that, let me list down my goals for the time being:
Results good enough to get me into Cardiff University
(higher goal: to study there with a scholarship)
simultaneously, I would want to pick up English with the british accent as strong as Callum's (god, i love his accent)
Before that, i would like to learn simple welsh in Hongkong during my break before poly
hmmm.. well that's about it for the time being. I WILL WORK HARD. TO SHOW HER AND MYSELF WHAT I AM REALLY CAPABLE OF. Whatever it is, actually, I just don't want to be someone regreting, some one that is useless that laze around(which I am always doing, I have to and I am stopping this.)
All the best to myself. Thank you.
(well, you basically become like me, talking to yourself non-stop when you stay alone..muahahahahaha)
jazzy juby 10:05:00 下午
end of the world
20050904
paranoid or not, I seriously have this really strong feeling end of the world is coming. Too much movies? I guess I am not the extremely easily influenced kind. At least I am almost sure that It is going to happen within my lifetime. Even my dreams have been hinting. I have had i guess at least a total of 7 or more dreams of the end of the world. It was definitely more scarey than I imgained when I was young. I mean what is so scary when everyone is going to die at the same time? The problem is you know you are going to die soon, but you don't know when, how, where, and why. That's the problem. You see it coming, but you don't know how, when, why, etc. Worst, there is nothing you could do to make it come earlier, or postpone it or stop it. You just see it getting near, accelerating.
Well, i guess that is also one of the reason I like dead like me so much besides the fact that callum is in it. Callum is just like, the one, you know? Perfect english (I seriously meant Englidh as in BRitish English) accent and he is ....too much to describe or put into words. I just like him. I mean, unlike Nic, Orlando, that sort, he is the kind that i like. I mean obviously I am not as crazy as to think of having callum blue as my boyfriend but, you know, he is just the kind. The one.
Erm, due to some external comments (comments have to be external can't they?), I was told I always liked thin ones. I am not obssessed with thin people. But I am definitely sure I don't like muscular people. They are frightening.
jazzy juby 10:45:00 下午
07.03
08.03
09.03
10.03
11.03
12.03
01.04
02.04
03.04
04.04
05.04
06.04
07.04
08.04
09.04
10.04
11.04
12.04
01.05
02.05
03.05
04.05
05.05
06.05
07.05
08.05
09.05
01.06
02.06
05.06
07.06
10.06
06.07
07.07
08.07
10.07
11.07
01.08
02.08
03.08
04.08
07.08
08.08
09.08
10.08
11.08
05.09
10.09
11.09
02.10
